Total Life changes: Changes in behavior that significantly affect one’s life experience.
The higher your goals and standards for your life, the higher you must raise your standards for yourself and your actions. To become a millionaire, you must develop the discipline, habits and mentality of a millionaire. To be a successful athlete, you must emulate the perseverance and work ethic of your top peers.
The more you change within, the more you’ll change everything around you. These are total life changes.Eliminating a couple habits won’t do it. If your personality is that of a sloth and you’re trying to become successful, changing a few habits won’t be enough. You’ll have to change your entire mentality, your entire sense of self.
How do you do it? How do you improve your life experience?
My Story with Total Life Changes
As a child, I was particularly shy. In my first day of kindergarten, I couldn’t open my mouth, neither in my first day of school or in 5’th grade. In high school, I barely managed to say a couple words with a shaking voice. The next day, I said nothing.
Up until high school, my back and voice would shake whenever I got up to answer a question or solve a problem. Up until high school, I couldn’t look people in the eyes. I couldn’t speak in a group, couldn’t dance at a party, couldn’t relax or hang out unless everybody around me were old acquaintances. Only after 18 years of life, I’ve discovered what it’s like to have friends.
It was at this time, that the frustration inside accumulated enough for me to take action. I scoured the web for total life changes and accidentally stumbled over someone’s blog.
I was shocked. I didn’t know the word self help existed. I did not know there were people teaching or writing about how to solve life’s problems. I went from not knowing what to do to having too many ideas for me to properly implement them, all in a few months.
I tried everything, from smiling to strangers to meditating, from standing up to my bullies to laughing like a maniac to the slightest joke. I started doing martial arts, and in a few years, I was teaching Kyokushin to a class of 30 children with their parents watching in the background. I was terrified, but I persevered.
I found hundreds of little tricks I could apply to my daily life, each of them releasing just a little bit of my anxiety. Some stuck and became habits. Others faded and I probably forgot them. However, by trying something every single day, by surrounding myself with supportive / encouraging people, and by forcing myself into situations where I had to speak up or mess up, I slowly made some total life changes.
Dozens of terrifying situations, tens of friends, hundreds of habits, and thousands of actions towards removing my anxiety, finally paid off. These days, I can be as loud and uninhibited as I want, and I usually am. Because of my study and past experiences, I also know when to be professional and reserved. I can easily adjust myself to most situations and be as friendly, scary, loud or quiet as needed. I am rarely intimidated, and even when I am, I have ways to rapidly calm myself down, and get in control of my emotions.
Where do I Begin to Improve my Life Experience?
As in my case, total life changes start with a desire and a decision. You must have something you deeply desire, which will later serve you as motivation, and make a firm decision to start working on becoming the kind of person who can get it.
If you’re reading this article, you probably have it. If not, grab a piece of paper and don’t stop until you’ve written what you want, why you want it, and what you’re going to do from now on towards it.
Necessary Information for Total Life Changes
To change your Identity into that of “whatever you desire to become”, you must make a plan and implement it. To make a good plan, do some research first. The web is full of information on how to achieve anything, on how to do anything, and on how to become anything. Do a thorough search before making a plan.
Don’t be afraid to change the plan as necessary, and regularly do more research to get new, better ideas.
Your Peers and Total Life Changes
You’re the average of the information you absorb and the people you spend time with. Doing regular research will ensure you absorb quality information. However, the people around you are feeding you info as well.
When attempting total life changes, you are ten times more likely to listen to what your friends say and think than to what you read in a book, even if the friend is obviously not qualified to give good advice in the field you’re interested in.
Let’s say you’re trying to assemble a piece of furniture. You’re reading the instruction manual on how to do it, when your dad walks in and starts giving you “free advice.” Because you respect your father, you’re likely to listen to him and do what he says, despite him not being a carpenter, not having read the instructions and not having the slightest idea about what the finished product should look like.
This happens all the time with friends, family, etc. You tend to take their advice to heart, even though they don’t work in the field, they haven’t studied it, and are just giving their opinions.
Rule of thumb: In every subject, everybody has an opinion, and most of them are wrong.
You have 2 ways to escape the negative influence of your peers:
- Absorb 10 times more information. If you’ve finished reading and understanding the schematics of the furniture piece you’re trying to assemble, when your father starts saying nonsense, you’ll know it immediately. You’ll instantly reject his opinion, because you’re certain you are right.
- Find peers who know what their saying. If you can find peers with the same goal as you, or mentors who’ve already achieved it, you’ll evolve a million times faster. Although my martial arts teacher did not teach on how to deal with anxiety specifically, the principles and ideas he did teach helped me greatly.
If you are serious about making total life changes, putting yourself in an environment or in situations where you’re forced to change is a must. If you become a marketer’s assistant, you will learn marketing 10 times faster than by reading about it online. Taking courses and participating in events will also help you improve greatly.
When doing the same things you’ve always done is causing you to lose money, loved ones, status or respect, you will change at lightning speed. To get quick results, you must be willing to suffer!
Remember: Every action you take is a step forward or backwards. You decide today where you’ll be a year from now on the road towards your goal. Total life changes are made in small steps, the first of which you can take now. Do it!